


Sharing is Caring

by Perching_Owl



Series: Turning over a new leaf [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Again more fluff though, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, References to PTSD, references to mass casualty event
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 08:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16472399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perching_Owl/pseuds/Perching_Owl
Summary: Sometimes being a doctor is difficult and stirs up memories Ravus would rather forget.This is set after 'Communication is Key', but it should be stand-alone enough to be enjoyable without having read that one first.





	Sharing is Caring

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am late for [Ravus week](https://ravus-week.tumblr.com) because of some work-related training. Which was interesting. On occasion. Mostly when our trainer was quite blasé about some information that was misrepresented or downright false. 
> 
> I am not sure about warnings - I don't think there are graphic descriptions of anything, but there are references to traumatic and mass casualty events. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy.

It's dark when he finally gets out of hospital. The night is pitch-black with no moon visible and the only lights are the orange streetlights, the occasional headlight and the sign proclaiming 'Insomnia Teaching Hospital'. 

It's also cold. Ravus shivers, wrapping his scarf tighter around him to ward off the chill. Around him it's quiet on the deck of the parking garage, no one visiting, no shift change. It's welcome after the chaos of the A&E. Another shiver passes through him, this one not from the cold, but from memories and impressions. 

With a shake of his head he forces them away, forces himself not to think about them, not yet. He needs to get home, get some rest and put things back into perspective. In moments like these he wishes for a bad habit such as reaching for a cigarette or stopping at the nearest bar, just to give him something to do, to not take the days he had home. 

Home where Lunafreya is waiting for him. Or if not waiting, then at least on the lookout for him with her door open and listening for his key to turn the lock. She knows some shifts can be unpredictable. That sometimes emergencies require him to stay longer. And undoubtedly she will have watched the news and drew her own conclusions on why he was kept longer. 

Again he pushes those thoughts away. He needs to get home. He is exhausted. Both physically and mentally. A few metres and he has reached his car, the key is in his hand and as he slips inside it's at least warmer than the outside. 

Sitting behind the wheel, he realises it's close to nine in the evening. He was scheduled to work only until four. Fuck. 

He reaches for his phone in his coat pocket, taking it out and looking at it. There are two new messages. One is from Lunafreya, the other one from Ignis. His heart does a funny little thing as he sees the latter, but it isn't enough to lift his dark mood. 

_I saw the news. You will be home late then? I talk with Ignis -Luna_

_I understand your need to cancel dinner. Stay safe -I._

Ravus starts the engine, his hand moves to the gear box, his other to the wheel, but he finds himself sitting and staring, somehow not being able to put the car into reverse and drive home. Ignis' words inside his head ring loud and clear like warning bells. He shuts the car off. No. He isn't in any condition to drive. He is physically exhausted and he is mentally drained. He shouldn't drive. 

And yet he wants to get home. He wants to shower, to sleep and cuddle up to Pryna. Well, it's not exactly what he wants because he would prefer Ignis to Pryna. Nothing against her, just- Ignis neither slobbers over his face in the morning nor does he shed fur. He tries to tell himself those are the only reasons and not that Ignis kissing him awake is the best way to wake up or holding onto him is the best way to fall asleep. Especially after a day like this. 

Ravus turns the engine off, takes his bag and gets out of the car, into the cold night. Walking will take him roughly half an hour and he will need to ask Lunafreya to drop him off tomorrow. She won't mind though. 

Nevertheless the walk suddenly seems daunting. Probably he should take a taxi, but he somehow balks at the idea of people and strangers in general. So he begins to walk, setting a brisk pace in the frigid air and it feels almost liberating. 

His thoughts begin to turn towards the day he has had. He huddles deeper into his scarf, breathing in and realising Ignis must have washed it for him, the faint scent of Ignis' preferred washing detergent clinging softly to it. It calms his nerves a bit, enabling him to see the events from a distance, not the clinical distance, but emotional. 

Mass casualty events happen. Sometimes something goes so terribly wrong, it cannot be stopped, failsafe mechanisms fail, people make mistakes and the result is an event which will make headlines for the following week as people wonder how this could have happened. What most people don't see is what happens with the first responders, who need counselling, loved ones rushing to the hospitals, demanding answers, and doctors, who try to stitch mangled bodies back together. 

Ravus' feet carry him along the road on automatic, even if he trembles, something he doesn't know if it is the cold or the turmoil of his emotions. He isn't sure if he wants to remember, he wants to forget if he is honest, but that is not healthy. 

He thinks back to Jenny, freshly hired nurse at the Insomnia Teaching Hospital and looking forward to working alongside of him again, storming into his office without knocking, just after Ravus has returned from lunch. 'There has been a train collision and it's bad' had been her words and he had dropped everything and started to get his A&E ready. It happened remarkable quick and then there had been six tense minutes of waiting where he had prowled around, making sure everything is ready. 

After that everything is a blur and yet sharp images remain. The injuries are a blur, adding onto one another until they bleed into red blood and burns. What remains are the images of panicked eyes, painfully tight pressed lips, tears drawing tracks in soot and grime. What is worse are the noises - screams of pain, sobs of loved ones, harsh orders from doctors and the beeping of machinery. It's been a cacophony all blending into one. And while the images and sounds had been bad, what had really dragged up memories where the smells - the smell of disinfectant and hospital, something he has become used to, the smell of burned flesh and coppery smell of old blood, something he can manage, and the smell of petrol, which he hasn't and which brings back memories of being in a military hospital before or after it has been attacked. 

Shaking his head, Ravus focuses on the present, on orange streetlights, cold air and the smell of wet earth. It must have rained an hour or so ago and he hopes Lunafreya went on a walk with Pryna before that or at least cleaned her afterwards. He is surprised though when he realises he is nearly home. What he isn't prepared for is how tired he is. It hits him all at once - the physical exhaustion nearly making him stagger, the emotional one making him feel hollow and nauseous. Perhaps he should have taken a taxi, strangers be damned. 

The first steps up to the building's front door are manageable, but seeing the stairs leading up to their first story apartment nearly makes him think about taking a rest on the first steps. But if he does that, he might not get up. 

The walk up the stairs to Lunafreya's and his apartment is torture but when he finally manages, he is filled with relief. Home. Safe. Warmth. 

He drops his keys as he gets them out, bends down and looks at the key hole before ringing the doorbell. Lunafreya is most likely up anyway.

The door opens. 

He expects Pryna to come running and greet him. He expects Lunafreya leaning against the door frame with a sympathetic smile. 

He doesn't expect Ignis. 

Ignis, who is wearing a partially unbuttoned shirt, slacks, no shoes, who hasn't redone his hair so it keeps falling into his face and who is moving towards him and enveloping him in a warm, sincere hug. Ravus' arms come automatically up to rest on Ignis' back. After a moment he puts his head against the juncture of Ignis' neck and shoulders and his body almost goes slack. He takes a deep breath in. The faint scent of Ignis' cologne fills his nostrils, something a bit spicy, but never overpowering, just there and he cannot help himself, but hold onto Ignis tighter. 

'How about we go inside?' Ignis asks. His voice is soft. 

Ravus pulls away, even though in that moment he wants nothing more than to stay close, to keep Ignis in his arms. 

'Sounds good,' his voice sounds so weary and worn he almost doesn't recognise it. 

Ignis takes his hand, eyes downcast and Ravus' cannot see the expression on his face. He is grateful though for the connection as the advisor pulls him into the flat. Pushing his shoes off, putting the keys to the car down and unwinding his scarf are all things he can manage with one hand, but taking his coat off gives him pause. Ignis realises his dilemma. 

He lets go of Ravus' hand and Ravus is about to reach for him again, to feel that connection, to feel that warmth, but then Ignis is beginning to strip him off the coat, quick and efficient. Still, losing contact with Ignis makes him feel unbalanced. He reaches out, but Ignis moves quickly and a moment later an arm is around his waist while Ravus' arm comes to rest across Ignis shoulders. He leans into him again, his brain sluggishly informing him that he shouldn't do that, relying on Ignis like this. 

But Ignis is here, warm and caring and Ravus doesn't find it in him to protest. If he is honest he just wants to sleep, curled around Ignis. 

'How about food? Are you hungry?' 

The nausea from earlier settles in again and he shakes his head. The thought of food in his stomach, sitting there, heavy like a stone, must have shown on his face because Ignis simply says, 'Food tomorrow then.' 

Even if Ravus cannot imagine eating something right now or tomorrow or ever, he knows he will be ravenous after a good night's sleep. 

'Shower?' 

'Bed,' Ravus mumbles. 

Ignis is about to protest, but it melts away into concern. 'You okay?' 

'Very, very tired,' Ravus mutters. He brings his other arm up as well, hugging Ignis again to feel him close, to feel the warmth and let it warm his heart. 

'Alright, bed then.' Ignis' voice is firm and resolute. Perhaps it has to be with the noise of protest Ravus makes as Ignis' moves away so he can lead him into Ravus' bedroom. 

Ignis helps him to get out of his clothes and into his sleeping wear, a t-shirt and soft trousers. He even manages to interpret Ravus' insistent tugging and gets rid of his own clothes. Together they move beneath the sheets and Ravus pulls Ignis closer, burying his head against the side of Ignis' neck and closing his eyes. It doesn't take more for him to fall asleep.

~*~

There is light. It's bright and piercing and Ravus really doesn't want to see it. But that requires moving and that's even worse. Nevertheless it begins to drag him away from the pleasant darkness of sleep and he finds himself waking up.

He grumbles at the light, curling himself into the other direction to not see it anymore, but it doesn't work when his head bumps against something, which is neither pillow nor blanket, but harder and yet- 

Ravus opens his eyes, blinking against the brightness all around until he sees grey cotton in front of his eyes and he frowns. It doesn't fit in with the rest of his bed. Then he feels fingers touching his face, brushing back his hair and he tilts his head into it, looking up. 

Ignis is sitting next to him, eyes focused on him and expression soft, the grey cotton Ravus has seen earlier being the soft trousers he favours at home. His hair is damp and he wears a fresh t-shirt so he must have left the bed to shower at some point, but he looks comfortable with his legs stretched out in front of him and his laptop balanced on his thighs. One hand is holding onto it while the other is running through Ravus' hair. 

Ravus blinks, enjoying the soft touch and his eyes drop close again. The touch is soft and loving, making him feel strangely protected, here in bed with Ignis. Something inside of him settles, content and at ease, especially as neither of them expects the other to talk. 

His stomach grumbles without warning, his eyes fly open and the spell is broken. Ignis laughs softly, brushing one last time through Ravus' hair, 'We better get some food into you. Do you want anything special?' 

Ravus thinks as he sits up before saying, 'Not really. Though probably just a lot from whatever you have mind.' 

Ignis grins, then leans forward and gives him a peck on the lips, 'How about you take a shower while I make breakfast?' 

'Sounds good.' 

Showering dispels the fuzzy warm feeling, the warmth and the ease and in its stead remains anxiousness as if Ravus is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yesterday had been long and difficult and as he stands underneath the shower spray, he has expected it to carry on for today if not for the entire next week. Yet today he feels normal, maybe more exhausted and sluggish than usual, but overall he feels alright. His emotions from yesterday are still there, but they aren't as strong and cannot dig into him as deeply. 

Nevertheless some unrest remains and after showering and pulling on some clothes, he goes in search for his phone, which he finds charging in his bedroom. He cannot remember plugging it in so Ignis must have done that. A wave of fondness washes over him. The smile gracing his lips is inevitable. 

The time on the display reads one o'clock and it surprises him how long he must have slept, a wave of anxiousness washing over him as he realises he should probably be at the hospital at shift change around four. He dials Holly's number in lieu of her not having a secretary yet. He is fully prepared to leave a message on her answering machine, but she picks up. 

'Teulle.' 

'Hello Holly, it's Ravus speaking,' he starts, but Holly interrupts him, her voice warm and friendly. 

'Ravus, it's good to hear your voice. You are alright? Jenny said you went home late.' 

'Yes, thank you for asking. I was wondering when I have to be back in. I could come in earlier.' 

There is a pause on the other end, but then Holly says, her voice firm, 'You haven't been scheduled to work today.' 

'Yes, but I thought we would be short-staffed because of yesterday. I can come in.' 

'Ravus, you have worked more than enough yesterday. You coming in is not needed, in fact I want you to remain at home and relax.' 

'But-' he starts, trails off and realises he would have liked to come, to see if all of his patients have made it through the night, which isn't something an A&E usually does, especially after they have handed their patients over to the ICU. But it has stuck with him from the military, ensuring people who have left his care are still fine and he cannot really fight that remnant. 

A sigh, then, 'Ravus, if you want to know about your patients, from what I know all of them made it through tonight. The only patients we have lost- you . . . you have been here for them. Everyone else is either in ICU or already in the process of being moved to another ward. Does that ease your worry?' 

It does though Ravus would have preferred to check in on them himself or at least would have loved to see their medical records. But the tension and anxiousness he has felt earlier has begun to leave him, calming some of the nerves he has felt. 

'Alright - then I will be in for my next regular shift,' Ravus responds. 

'You mean the one on Monday. I don't want to see you any earlier, but then I welcome you with open arms. Let's also schedule a meeting on Tuesday about the handling of mass casualty events. Maybe we need to improve that.' 

They say their goodbyes before hanging up and a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He plugs his phone back in, then hesitates and unlocks it, typing a quick message to Lunafreya, telling her he is alright and Ignis is with him and when he is expected to work next. She is probably at Nyx' place or work as he hasn't seen her in their flat. 

He doesn't wait for a response and instead follows the delicious smell of breakfast. He doesn't smell bacon, but instead pancakes and that is fantastic because he isn't sure what his mind would have made from that smell. But pancakes are safe, smell fantastic, especially when Ignis makes them which isn't often. 

This time he has opted for plain pancakes and on the stove next to the frying pan is a pot with compote made from mixed berries bubbling. Ignis has an eye on both, making sure to flip the pancake over and stir the fruits. 

The coffee machine has been turned on already, the smell of freshly brewed coffee intermingling with berries and pancakes. Ravus starts to make himself coffee, but his eyes stray to Ignis and when the coffee is running through he steps behind the blonde, puts his arms around him from behind and rests his head on Ignis' shoulder. 

Ignis' hand comes to rest over his, 'Did you sleep well?' 

'Very, thanks to you.' 

Ignis frowns. It's short, but it is there and Ravus wonders what that is about. He feels the tension accumulating in the other man and decides to press a kiss against his cheek. 'Something wrong?' 

Ignis relaxes again, but the frown is still there as he flips the pancake onto one plate expertly with one hand. His other hand tightens on Ravus, 'I woke up and you were dreaming during the night. It didn't appear to be pleasant.' 

He turns in the circle of Ravus arm, gaze serious. 

Ravus exhales, almost a sigh, but he responds, 'I don't remember. But-' and he halts because speaking about what has happened to him always makes him uneasy and he thinks it might be too early in their relationship. Or too late. He isn't sure, but Ignis should know and yet he isn't sure how to broach the subject. 

Determination rises within him and he says, voice rushed, 'I don't remember, but I wouldn't be surprised if those were memories. Old ones. From when I lost the arm.' 

The tension eases, making way for worry and Ignis' hands come up to rest on his upper arms, one of which Ravus is suddenly acutely aware is his prosthetic. He almost wants to move away from that touch on his arm, but Ignis' other hand is gripping onto him tightly. 

'I would like to point out you can tell me as much or as little as you want about losing your arm,' Ignis says. It sounds formal, but formality is always something the advisor takes refuge in, so Ravus doesn't begrudge him. Ignis somehow manages to live with his crankiness and so he can live with Ignis' at times formal politeness. 

'It's alright,' Ravus starts, pulling Ignis closer. 'I should tell you in detail about it - but-' he opens his mouth, closes it again with a grimace. It's not easy to talk about this, to make Ignis understand, but if he cannot trust Ignis with this, he is pretty sure, it wouldn't bode well for their relationship of five month.

He exhales, collecting his thoughts, grateful that Ignis isn't pushing him, just looking at him, 'You know I got my medical degree through the army and served with them for a few years before being discharged on medical grounds.' 

Ignis nods. Ravus knows he has seen the few framed photographs he keeps, has seen the degree he keeps framed over his desk and maybe even overheard Lunafreya and him talking about his arm and habits. 

'I've worked at a field hospital in Galahd during the skirmishes with Niflheim. It were deplorable conditions even for a field hospital, but supply runs were attacked constantly and we didn't get as much as we needed to. So the hospital was always full with people, some from the army, but mostly civilians. The day I lost my arm, I remember treating a soldier and he was dying, my nurse was telling him to do something, but then an explosion brought parts of the hospital wall down on us. I don't recall much else, except for waking up in a noisy A&E department, somewhere else, the smell of burned flesh and old blood and well- yesterday A&E felt very similar. So memories.' 

Ignis' eyes have grown soft. His arms move up to Ravus neck and they kiss, slow and unhurried. 

It's only when Ignis nearly puts his hand on the hot stove and he curses, they break apart. Ravus wants to give Ignis room, but the other pulls his hand around his waist again and begins to stir the compote. 

As he does, a sigh escapes his lips, 'Thank you for sharing this with me.' 

'I thought it is important if we want to-' Ravus trails off, then settles for, 'move forward with our relationship.' 

'That it is. And if there is anything I can help you deal with after for example such a day like yesterday or anything I should avoid talking about at certain times or whatever-' 

'You are doing fine, Ignis. You have been there yesterday and that has been more than enough for me.' 

Ignis nods, eyes focused on the stack of pancakes, 'Well, we should probably return to lighter topics for now. Such as breakfast. Though even that might be more on the heavy side. There should be some whipped cream in the fridge. It will go brilliantly with the compote and pancakes.' 

Ravus' stomach grumbles at the mention of breakfast, which earns him laughter from Ignis and he makes his way to the fridge, taking the whipped cream out and nicks a bit of it, which earns him a shove and soft admonishment from Ignis. He cannot help but smile though and with the day stretching out in front of him, happiness begins to bloom inside of him. 

Later today he is sure they are going to end up in bed again, hopefully not only for sleeping, but until then he looks forward to reading or watching TV, drinking tea in the afternoon and talking a walk together. But first he is going to enjoy his breakfast with Ignis in the sun-flooded living room. 

Ignis is still looking thoughtful though and when Ravus asks him what is wrong, Ignis gives him a smile though it is absent-minded. Then he shakes his head and focuses back on Ravus, 'We had dinner plans and I understand why you needed to cancel them. But there is still the matter I wanted to discuss with you. Nothing bad,' he adds as he sees Ravus' face closing off. 

And then a slight blush creeps into his cheeks. 'I was wondering - if, well, we have been together and it has been amazing-and. I have spoken with my landlord about my lease because it is running out and what he offered me wasn't what I wanted and so I was wondering if you wanted to look for a new flat with me?' 

'Of course I can help you look for a new flat,' Ravus asks, wondering why Ignis is making such a hassle out of it. 

Ignis blush deepens though there is a hint of exasperation on his face as well, 'No, that wasn't what I meant. Do you want to move in with me? As in do you want to look for a flat with me and then live there with me?' 

Ravus doesn't need to think about that, not with how tiresome it can be with Lunafreya living at this place as well and Ignis' flat being too small. The happiness inside of him is now not only blooming, it's settling into every corner of his being and he says, 'Yes. I would love to.'

**Author's Note:**

> I've got the feeling, there are some grammar/spelling mistakes in this one, but at the moment they elude me. Hopefully you enjoyed it anyway. 
> 
> Comments, kudos and constructive critism are appreciated. Also, if you want to drop by on tumblr, I am [perchingowl](https://perchingowl.tumblr.com).


End file.
